she kept yelling 'call me bella'
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
