Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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