Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
