I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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