Quick, to the slutcave!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
