ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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