guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize