I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
