i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize