Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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