it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
