C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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