dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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