I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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