so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
