I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
