And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
