started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
try to milk me bitch
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