apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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