Screwed.edu
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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