She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
