The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
