His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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