Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
