I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
