mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm both gender and math confused
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize