Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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