Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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