i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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