you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
