I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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