i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you will always have a special place in my vag
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
