Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
