sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
