The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
