This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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