did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
