You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
