please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
