do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
