Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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