thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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