i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
