Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just forgot I was standing up.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
