They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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