so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
