dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
