She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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