glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
