Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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