Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
