Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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