he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
What drink are we having for lunch?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
