I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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