i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
MIDGETS
????
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
