Sry I called you an 8
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
