either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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