ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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