Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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