I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
