OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
