whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize