i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
