talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
