ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
