You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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